Stupid Questions

Stupid Questions To Ask Your Friends, Someone, People, Guy, Girl

169 stupid questions to ask people, your friends or someone you know....

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

800 Questions to Ask A Girl
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
Why are Softballs hard?
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Stupid Questions to Ask People

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams?

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

Stupid Questions to Ask Someone

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?

What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

Where's the egg in an egg roll?

Why aren't blue berries blue?

Where is the lead in a lead pencil?

Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in ice?

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a ***?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?

Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

What do people in China call their good plates?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Funny Stupid Questions

Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?

Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?

You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can't you be simply whelmed?

Shouldn't the opposite of shut up be shut down?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

How come there aren't B batteries?

If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards, would he end up owing you money?

Really Stupid Questions

Why is the word for "a fear of long words," hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?

Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?

How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

How do you remove a club soda stain?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?

Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like the grownups?

Do you ever just get the urge to double-click something?

How come there's a greeting card section for new babies? Do they come some other way?

Why don't black guys get white tattoos?

Can't the postman give it to the garbage man and save us the hassle?

Instead of candy, wouldn't it be easier to take, say, cabbage from a baby?

Do the people who say "God darn it" really think God darns?

If a job is cancelled, do hit men get a kill fee?

When you perform a head count, do Siamese twins count as one or two?

Silly or Stupid Questions

If it's friendly fire, shouldn't they use blanks?

How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

Is it really necessary for L.A. to have a zoo?

Did they purposely make dyslexia hard to spell?

What do you call it when fat people swim naked?

Is it wrong to enjoy the smell of your own gas?

Why do we still call it "shipping" when it goes by plane and truck?

Who wants to own a convertible that you drive only to work and back?

Why do they call it weed when it's so hard to grow?

Why won't my bankruptcy attorney accept payments?

Is Florida shaped like a handgun on purpose?

Why do we call them oranges when half of 'em are yellow?

Was Einstein insulted when you offered a penny for his thoughts?

Why do we say "eats like a bird" when every day a bird eats its own weight in food?

Why do Scandinavians keep writing O's and then just crossing them out?

Does Robert De Niro know that it's okay to turn down roles?

How come I can't find Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul?

Why do we say "heads up" when we mean "duck"?

What's does it hurt like hell to hit your funny bone?

Strange And Stupid Questions

Why does "middle of the night" come after "end of the night"?

Can they prevent me from paying my phone bill in pennies?

Why is Broadway so confined?

Has your mate ever called you at work to ask where the remote control is?

Do Asians ever say to hell with it and grab a fork?

Why not a license to breed?

Was the person who invented the Express Lane at the grocery store properly thanked?

Why not making hockey more interesting and use a white puck?

Why don't you ever see ads for advertising companies?

"It's all good" ... was that Nietzsche?

Is "word of mouth" different from, say, "word of armpit"?

Did Grant's troops march Leeward?

Call me radical, but why can't we talk on elevators again?

Where do cuckoos find all of these abandoned clocks?

What's wrong with being "over the hill"? Isn't downhill easier?

Is "tax" another way of pronouncing "takes"?

Where are all the mentally handicapped parking spaces for people like me?

Shouldn't women earn bachelorette's degrees?

Do we abbreviate ADD because it's too long to say?

So you can wear a bikini in public but not underwear?

Stupid Questions to Ask Friends

How come Jesus didn't turn water into beer for the rest of us?

Why don't hockey teams just hire 800-pound goalies?

How do you know when circuses are being fumigated?

How come milk is four bucks a gallon? Does the President have stock in that too?

What if you don't have time for a time management course?

Why are there signs that read "no shoplifting"? Is there a place where it's okay?

Are there crash courses on how to fly?

Did they intentionally make grammar hard to spell?

Shouldn't Ronald McDonald be, like, heavier?

How about Braille alphabet soup for the blind?

Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when we're already there?

Is it really low-fat, or does the serving just fit in the palm of your hand?

Do advertisers specify "free gift" to distinguish between those gifts that cost money?

What is the opposite of medium?

Why does honey come in plastic bears and not plastic bees?

Shouldn't a French kiss be when you peck someone on either cheek?

Why are his-and-her presents always for her?

I have "juicy green apple shampoo." Is it important that the apples were juicy?

Is Carl's Junior a one-star restaurant?

Are girls growing breasts bigger and faster, or am I turning into a pervert?

Where does the "o" come from when we abbreviate "number"?

When someone is yelling at you in sign language, do you just close your eyes?

Stupid and Weird Questions

When we get a woman President, will her husband be the First Man?

Have you ever had a piece of cake so good, you want to make out with it?

What if Batman gets bitten by a vampire?

They say that only one in four rapes are reported. How do they know?

Can we spell creativity however we want?

What does "new and improved" say about the old product?

Why don't radio stations skip the cash giveaways and play some bloody music?

Why do we refer to dogs as bitches when cats fit the description so much better?

Does wild rice have to be hunted?

Is it illegal to make out with your wife while the cop writes your ticket?

Why do women tolerate "you guys" when men would never go for "you girls"?

Vegas taxed my winnings. Does that mean I can report my losses?

Five bucks a gallon?! Is it time to start crying over spilled milk?

Why is there boxing at the Goodwill Games?

I'm high on life now, but who's to say that I won't develop a tolerance?

Where's my slip-and-fall lawsuit?

Why do we call 'em novels when they're mostly unoriginal?

Is talk still cheap if you use a lot of ten-dollar words?

Only I can prevent forest fires? Isn't that a lot of pressure?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Amazingly Stupid Questions

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

If a husband dies, the wife is called a widow. If a child's parents die, the child is called an orphan. Why isn't there a word for a parent that loses a child?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

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