Reasons to Reconsider your Relationship

1. He thinks jokes about putting your cat in the microwave are funny.

2. She purposely knocks your toupee off in public.

3. He steals the covers - even when he's not staying overnight.

4. She has less time for you, and more time for her friends at the opium den.

5. He played the videotape of you two having sex on Public Access.

6. Her idea of a night on the town is panhandling.

7. Jack, the person he refers to as his best freind, turns out to be a bottle of whiskey.

8. She always suppresses a giggle when you take your trousers off.

9. You consistently find his socks and underpants in the dishwasher.

10. She demands a urine sample every three months.