Best Quotes on Love & Marriage

Love
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renard.

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" - Lily Tomlin.

"Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right." - Woody Allen, Everything you Always Wanted to Know about Sex, but were Afraid to Ask, 1972.

"Continental people have sex-lives; the English have hot-water bottles." - George Mikes, How to be an Alien, 1946.

"Sex appeal is 50 per cent what you've got, and 50 per cent what people think you've got." - Sophia Loren.

"Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman." - Woody Allen.

"When you're away, I'm restless, lonely, Wretched, bored, dejected; only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you're near." - Samuel Hoffenstein.


Marriage
"Bigamy is having one spouse two many. Monogamy is just the same." -Anonymous.

"When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed." - Jewish proverb.

"Mummy, mummy, what's an orgasm? I dunno. Ask your father." -Anonymous.
Barbara Walters: "You've been married 42 years. What makes your marriage work?"

Robert Mitchum: "Lack of imagination, I suppose."

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets." - Ogden Nash.


Men
"Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands." - Jayne Mansfield.

"Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives." - H. L. Mencken.

"Male sexual response is far brisker and more automatic: it is triggered easily by thing, like putting a quarter in a vending machine." - Alex Comfort.

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry.

"Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too." - H. L. Mencken.

"God made man, and then said "I can do better than that" and made woman." - Adela Rogers St. John.


Women
"It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time." - Tallulah Bankhead.

"When a woman behaves like a man, why can't she behave like a nice man?" - Dame Edith Evans.

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." - P. J. O'Rouke.


Misc
"If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt." - Thomas Carlyle.

"I'll come up and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me." - Tallulah Bankhead.

"I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands." - Dudley Moore.