Romance And Love Articles
In my experience, one of the main reasons that partners avoid cunnilingus is due to a perceived or even experienced poor taste. While it is true that women run the range from pleasant (tasty!) to sour or uric tasting, there are easy steps to ensure that your partner will be tasting her sweetest.
First and most obviously, a good vigorous shower will do much to neutralize the taste of your partner. In fact, oral sex in the shower, while not a favorite method of mine, has a completely neutral taste if you stick to the upper regions of your partner's sex. If your partner has not showered recently, or has physically exerted herself recently, her taste will be much stronger. This, however, can be a good thing!
Secondly, foreplay will improve upon both the taste and the experience in general if your can get her juices flowing. I have never found an extremely aroused, wet woman to taste unpleasant. Quite the contrary!
Finally, there's the use of flavorings. There are many flavored oils and body lotions available through "marital aid" catalogs as well as from local novelty shops or condom shops. Also recommended to me: popsicles, jello powder, honey, and whipped cream. (A particular favorite flavoring of mine is Karma Sutra Honey Dust.)
Do it! Take your time! Have fun! Experiment! A common male misunderstanding is that all females are aroused mostly through physical contact. Not true. Women can be aroused greatly simply because they find their partner sexy. Tension is a wonderful tool, use it. If you can build tension to the point where the barest touch sends electric shivers through both of you, you can't lose! Similarly, even the best love techniques will not turn on a woman who isn't in the mood. (If you can get her in the mood, well then you're talking.)
Joe Slobodnik's article (13590) on methods of arousal was a bit technical, but he hit on some very important points. Take your time, explore your partner (there's a lot more there than nipples and a clitoris!), build tension, have fun.
There are two basic positions that I have found very versatile and successful. For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs, put your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right - somewhat of an intimate hug. Now you should find your head situated conveniently and comfortably near the center of your attention.
Less comfortable, but a bit wilder is the following. Lie on your back, prop a couple of pillows (or fold one over) under your head. Have your partner kneel facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position (IMHO) is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. (Yum) Versatility and comfort are reduced for the giver, so I only occasionally partake in this position.
These are by no means the only positions. Again, experiment, have fun. If you can find a bed where your partner can lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, you're in luck. Now you can have her sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her sex. Also recommended to me are siting besides your partner and kissing her in this manner. While I've found that this changes the angle of approach (adding variation) and allows more digital stimulation (that's fingers, Holmes), it limits oral attention to the upper and clitoral area of your partner's sex.
An additional recommendation follows: Have her lie with her head dangling off the edge of the bed. The additional rush of blood to the head will give a different (more intense?) feeling during orgasm. Warning, unconsciousness is a possibility! (Opinions vary on whether this improves orgasm.)
Different woman are very different in some respects of their genitalia, but the major parts are the same. A woman's sex from the oral sex point of view consists of two sets of lips (outer and inner) with endpoints just below the vaginal opening and some variable distance above the clitoris; the vaginal opening (at the lower end of her anatomy, just above where the two sets of lips meet), a smooth section of skin between the vaginal opening and the clitoris, and the clitoris and its surrounding folds.
If you get the chance, explore your partner in a location with decent lighting. Use one hand to spread her sex, then explore her. Find out what's where and what's what. Like I said earlier, women are different. Especially the location and shape of the clitoris. It can be buried, protruding, surrounded by many folds of flesh, or hanging out it the open. The best method I have found for finding your partner's clitoris (If all else fails, ask!), is to wet a finger and place it just over her vaginal opening, inside of her inner lips. Now run your finger up until you feel a slight bump. Now gently circle with your finger, if she gasps, that's it, if not move farther up and repeat as necessary.
OK, ENOUGH OF THE DETAILS, NOW THE NITTY-GRITTY (tm)
So your partner is showered, excited and feeling sexy. It's the big moment, what to do? Don't simply dive in. Take your time, excite her.
From "The Meaning of Life" by Monty Python:
Headmaster: Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.
Watson: Rubbing the clitoris, sir.
Headmaster: What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.
Wymer: Suck the nipple, sir.
Headmaster: Good. Good. Good, well done, Wymer.
Duckworth: Stroking the thighs, sir.
Headmaster: Yes, I suppose so.
Another: Bite the neck.
Headmaster: Good. Nibbling the ear. Kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.
Watson: Yes sir. Sorry sir.
In my opinion, I can usually tell how good my partner is at oral sex by how she "goes down" on me. By "going down" I mean the process by which she goes from kissing my lips to sucking oh-so-wonderfully on my sex.
What's the belly button for?
Putting your gum in on the way down!
Depending on your partner, different methods of going down will work more effectively. If you've gotten to this point with your partner, you should have a fair idea of what she likes. Take advantage of that knowledge. One thing that I highly recommend however, is a sexy look. Sexy looks can make all the difference, and the best place to throw one in is as you're licking, sucking and kissing your way down her stomach. Take time to stop, look up and smile devilishly. Letting her know that you really want to do this and aren't just doing it because you're hoping for reciprocation is a great turn-on.
Unbutton your partners jeans, pull the tabs back and kiss her newly exposed flesh. Unzip her pants, pull the tabs back as far as they can go and place light, tender kisses on her abdomen and around the top of her panties. Watch it, some women are very ticklish here!
(Note the above doesn't work so well if she doesn't have jeans on but you're all smart enough to figure it out...)
Once you've removed everything but her panties, stop. You have a unique opportunity for further arousal. Kiss her legs and inner thighs with gentle kisses. Work your way up each leg and make a point of stopping at the line of her underwear. Kiss again along the top of her underwear, and along the other two borders.
Now move to her cotton (silk? lace? latex?) covered sex. Plant firm, dry kisses through her underwear on her sex, low and right around the vaginal entrance works best for me. If your partner is really excited, often her underwear will be damp and will smell (pleasantly) of her sex.
Removing the underwear is again a matter of choice. You know your partner best, I prefer either gently sliding it all the way off with my fingers, or pulling it part way down with my teeth first.
It is not unusual for your partner's lips to be closed together. A very excited woman's lips may be slightly spread already ("pouting"). Again, building tension can be accomplished by light kisses on either side of her sex as well as light blowing. (Do not inflate your partner! This can be very dangerous!! - You can rupture internal organs this way.) Spreading her lips can be accomplished by placing your tongue first at the base of her sex, and then firmly running your tongue all the way up. Continue with a few long licks from the base of her sex all the way to the top past her clitoris. Vary the firmness of your tongue from hard and pointed to broad and soft.
THE BIG "O"
The best and most proven method of making your partner cum through oral sex is by repeated, rhythmic stroking of her clitoris with your tongue. The tongue is uniquely suited for this purpose because of it's texture, versatility, and pliability. It is difficult (and tiring) to apply too much pressure to your partner's clitoris with your tongue. Some women are much more sensitive than others however. Be receptive to any sharp gasps, you could be being too forceful. If this is the case, move away from direct contact of the clitoris or adopt a gentler technique.
Repeated, rhythmic stroking can be accomplished in a variety of ways. I prefer either rapid, repeated vertical licks with a firm, pointed tongue, or planting your tongue firmly and stiffly against your partner's clitoris and vigorously shaking your head back and forth. (Tiring, maybe. But it's worth it!) If you are having trouble finding the correct angle or method for rhythmically lingually caressing her clitoris, or if you want to try something fun and new:
Tongue the ABC's. No seriously! This is a great oral exercise on any part of the body. Tongue the ABC's starting with lower case, and moving though upper case. (Heck, you could do the whole ANSI ASCII set if you'd like!) Be especially perceptive while you do this, vary your speed and watch for sharp intakes of breath - chances are you've hit the right angle. The ABC's give a large variety of different strokes, so come back to this exercise as often as you'd like.
A general rule of thumb (tongue?) is to start slowly and pick up the pace as you go along. This is definitely a general rule though, feel free to break it by varying your rhythm, both slowly and predictably as well as quickly and startlingly.
OTHER FUN THINGS TO DO
Lick between the inner and outer lips; penetrate the vagina deeply (a much stronger, iron-like taste here); "tease" the entrance to her vagina with rapid pokes of your tongue at varying depths; don't forget your hands, often a woman will feel a need or ache for something inside of her while very aroused, oblige her with a finger or two. Both kissing and manually manipulating your partner is tough, anyone with successful methods is welcome to pipe in.
Talk to your partner, ask her what she likes. Experiment (if you can) with many different partners. What excites one woman a lot may not excite another as much, but may still be well worth trying. On the other hand, you may not notice a subtle pleasurable technique on one woman that can be easily learned on another. The better you know your partner, the more effectively you can please her. Have fun!
A FINAL NOTE
I tried to be a lot less pretentious than the male version of this article for a few reasons. The major one is that women are very different, the above suggestions may work wonderfully with one woman and so-so with another. Some women simply aren't responsive to oral sex due to strong moral constraints. Also, I am not an expert. Though I love oral sex and have had the joy of pleasuring many women, I am still young and have a lot to learn.