These are just a few of our favorites.

Myth #1: They're unwilling or unable to commit.
Our response: It is true that some unmarried people are uncomfortable with commitment, but that doesn't mean that all unmarried people are! We all know of examples of married (or divorced) people who aren't (weren't) very committed to each other, yet people still think marriage and commitment are the same thing. Actually, you can be married without being committed. You can just as easily be committed without being married.

Myth #2: They haven't met the right person yet.
Our response: Again, this may be true for some people. However, we laugh at the idea that if that one Mr. or Ms. Right waltzes into the room we'll drop everything and go marry that person. For many of us, our unmarried relationships are very "right," thank you very much.

Myth #3: They'll marry eventually (just give them time).
Our response: This myth is based in truth, since about 60% of cohabitors get married within five years. Only about 10% of cohabiting couples stay together without getting married for more than five years, and we've all heard stories of some who get married after living together for 18 years. But the reality is, some of us will probably never get married, even if we stay together. We get tired of responding to people who want to know if we think we might change our minds someday, because that only emphasizes the fact that they think we're making a mistake.

Myth #4: Marriage results in greater love, intimacy, and commitment.
Our response: Try asking a lot of married couples if and how getting married changed their relationship. In our experience, some say that marriage did improve their relationship, sometimes unexpectedly. They often speak of the bonds that grew stronger and drew them closer to each other. However, significant numbers of people give different answers. Some say getting married ruined the relationship (perhaps you've heard of couples who get divorced within months of getting married). And many say that getting married didn't make any difference at all: "It was just a piece of paper."

Myth #5: Marriage will "cure" bisexual/gay/lesbian/transgender/non-monogamous identity, or other "non-traditional" relationship structures.
Our response: This is simply not true. For centuries, people have hidden their true identities within married relationships, as when a woman who knew she was only a lesbian married a man because it was too difficult to live as an "out" lesbian. However, getting married doesn't change who anyone is. Some people who get married in order to cure themselves are able to stay in a marriage their whole lives (though we suspect they may not be very happy). Many are unable to continue to lie, so they divorce, cheat on their spouses, negotiate with their spouses to be able to live more honestly, or find other solutions. Instead of trying to "fix" these identities, we believe we instead need to fix society so that there are more acceptable options.

Myth #6: Women always want to marry and are victims if they're in unmarried relationships.
Our response: Wrong, again. Among the people we interviewed in male-female unmarried relationships, it was significantly more common for the woman to be the one who refused to get married. There is a cultural stereotype that suggests that all women want to get married and all men don't want to, but it's clear that this does not hold true for many people.

Myth #7: Married people are healthier, wealthier, and happier than unmarried people.
Our response: The much-publicized studies that make these conclusions have some common flaws and misleading elements.