Getting Ready for a Big Date
Okay, it’s finally happened. The person you’ve been trying to get to notice you for weeks now has finally asked you out! Eeeeee! Now- The piercing question, What do you wear???? If you’re starting to get those little butterflies in your stomach and you want everything to be perfect, then you need to stop and take a deep breath before you have a panic attack, right? Maybe you should read this using that little Fran Dresher voice in your head... You know the one...
What to wear? It’s Saturday, tonight's the big night, and you’ve set aside a few hours just to prepare for this evening. You’ve probably already gone out and hit a few shops and found the cutest thing to wear- Depending on where you’re going, I usually suggest black below the waist, and a very flattering color above- maybe to match your eyes.
My favorite color on Asian women/Brunettes- garnet red, on African American women- lavender/violet, on Redheads- ivory, and on Blondes- dark jewel tones such as pine green, plum and cobalt blue. Keep the accessories to a minimum. I suggest the same with jewelry. Smaller is better. Go for the small diamond studs (fake or real) and hide the large gold plated catchy die-cut cat or dolphin earrings someone gave you from their trip to the Caribbean…(you know who you are, Mom...)
Shoes are a big deal. I lean towards hideously beautiful platforms that give me some height. I’m 5’3" so every bit helps. Most all men are taller than I am, and I’ve yet to date one that isn’t. Except my prom, but we won’t go into that...
My shoe inspired idea of Hell: my computer is a 386 with the oldest version of Photoshop, only three day old cold French fries in the fridge, a closet full of dresses with ruffles AND only low heeled white patent leather shoes/sandals!!! Agggh! But I digress...
Okay, now that clothes, accessories, jewelry, shoes are out of the way… let's proceed to...
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The spa treatment. I try to devote a bit of each Saturday to giving myself a mini spa treatment. I mean, if you can make the time, it’s important to your state of mind, not to mention your skin & hair. Here’s the rundown.
1. Start with a fresh canvas… Remove old nail polish, make-up. Shave your legs. Wash your face. Quickly shampoo your hair and apply a deep conditioner to it. Wrap it up and forget about it.
2. Steam your face. This is such a treat and good for you as well. Fill a big pot with about a inch worth of water. Boil. Add a small handful of mixed herbs. Take the pot off the stove, place on a counter, and stand over it, draping your head over the pot with a towel. A few minutes is all you need. Make sure you gently pat your face dry, never rub. Now you’re ready for the mask.
[I got my herbs at a great health food store. A small bag of each of the following all mixed together in a coffee-can sized jar will probably last you twenty five years and cost about four dollars, max. You want to get lavender, orange blossom, rose hips, rose petals, & linden flower. These are the essentials, but you’ll probably find more than a few books next to the herbal jars- just check there for whatever else you’d care to add.]
Hint: when the herbal water cools down, you can water your plants with it.
3. Draw a big, fat bubble bath. I swear by this honey-mango bubble bath I pick up at the beauty supply. Toss in some oil beads (2-3) while the bath is running, move on to the next step.
4. Apply your favorite mask. I’m a huge fan of mud. But good, fancy mud is sooo expensive, so here’s a neat idea to add to this list just in case you don’t have a favorite mask of your own. I got this recipe from a great book called "The World’s Best Kept Beauty Secrets" by Diane Irons. She swears by this:
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Kitty litter mask
Clay masks are great for detoxifying the skin. Diane found out that the very expensive spas that charge hundreds for herbal wraps were using mud. Not fancy Dead Sea mud, but kitty litter. The catch is that the bag must be marked "100% Natural Clay." How to use it: Mix about a tablespoon of the dried clay with a small amount of water. That’s it! Apply to your face. People have told her that it feels absolutely refreshing. "That it actually possesses a kind of pleasant, minty feel. Minerals in the mud also benefit the skin."
She suggests that you don’t try to dig up mud from your garden. Real mud is dirty and contains organisms that harbor diseases." Have I tried this? No way! But I’m going to… yep….Yes, I am.
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5. Relax. Is the mask on? Is the tub full? Do you have a stack of your favorite magazines or book handy and a nice cup of herbal tea? Then jump in and relax….
6. Get out of the tub already! Is that tub water ice cold by now? Is your skin all wrinkled? Then get out! Rinse out that conditioner. Rince off the kitty litter. You’re ready for the next step.
7. Dry and style your hair. Me? I have thick, long ‘Jennifer Aniston’ hair, so I need those big fat hot rollers. It takes forever!!! Now isn’t the time to experiment, so stick to a style that you know looks good on you. Or better yet, go get a blow dry by a good stylist so you don't have to worry about it. I try to do this once a week.
8. More Relaxing. If you’re feeling completely decadent, pop in a great old movie such as Roman Holiday or An affair to Remember, apply a good moisterizer and do your nails. Check out my movie list to get ideas...
9. My favorite part. Make up! You know what looks good. Personally, I never understood the concept of eyeliner under the eyes. I think this adds literally five to ten years to any woman’s age. Ick! Also, it does look nice when your lip liner is in the same color family as your lipstick. No, really! My current favorites- Stila’s foundation & powder are a flawless combination, and Lancome’s Definicils mascara is the best mascara I've ever come across.
10. Get dressed! My God, you look fantastic! Don’t you feel great?
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Conversation:
DO:
Maintain good eye contact. Glancing about the room gives
the impression that you're really not interested.
Adopt a body posture that says you're alert and paying
attention to what your date is saying.
Ask questions and wait for a complete answer. Then take
your time to understand what was just said before asking
an appropriate followup question. The most interesting
people are those that are genuinely interested in you.
DON'T:
begin every sentence with 'I'
tell jokes, they can offend easily
talk money
talk business
monopolize the conversation
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Ettiquette:
Make the first overture. It's a rare woman that does this
and she should be applauded and appreciated but it's usually
the guy's role. The tips that follow are written from a guy's
perspective but can certainly apply to the ladies too.
Have a plan. Don't call and then say 'I don't know,
what do you want to do?'
Dress accordingly and offer your date suggestions for
appropriate dress.
Don't drink too much, if at all.
Go somewhere you can speak in conversational tones and
spend time learning about each other.
Be positive and enthusiastic.
Escort her home. Dropping her at the bus stop just
doesn't make it.
Remain chaste, you'll appear much classier and in
control that way. It also adds a little mystery.
Call her the next day. That's when you show that you
are interested and want a second date.