Rejected Penthouse Letters

Dear Penthouse Forum,

Why am I so alone? Why won't anyone love me? I have so much love to give. Why must I waste my time on bad television and pornography? I just know if I could find a nice girl who'd understand me I could treat her nice. Now I'll never get married and have a regular family. I'm so unhappy. I'm so wretched and stupid and ugly and no one likes me. No one at all. I'm all alone. All alone. All alone with stupid, fat, ugly me. I hate myself.

Please help!
Suicidal in Sacramento