Rejected Penthouse Letters

Dear Penthouse Forum,

Have you ever done the nasty with a woman who has not two, but six big heaving tits? I have. Well, technically, she wasn't a woman, but rather, my cat. She's pregnant, so her little ta-tas have swollen up quite a bit, for a cat. The other night I couldn't take it anymore, and I had my way with her. Am I glad I had her declawed!

Feline fine in Phoenix