Rejected Penthouse Letters

Dear Penthouse Letters,

I never thought it could happen to me, but boy was I wrong. I met this woman at the church picnic and she was very attractive. Father Mylar told me her name was Carol. All the men who were unmarried certainly noticed how attractive she was, so I figured I had to make my move. Seven months later we were married, and we had relations. Wow! It really can happen to anyone!

Married and Joyful, Hartford, CN