Rejected Penthouse Letters

Dear Penthouse Letters,

So I'm in this bar, ok? And there's this totally, totally hot babe, ok? And like, I've had a few beers so I'm all bold, ok? So I order another beer and walk over to her, right? Well turns out she's been downing Vodka shots for the last hour, totally pissed off about some guy. So I figure I'm in there, totally! I go over all smooth and introduce myself and she, like, totally digs me! Orders a couple more Vodka shots and we clink glasses and down them. Next thing I know, four or five more shots later, she's like, "Let's get out of here." So we book, ok? We get a taxi and I'm checking her out and she's totally hot, ok? Legs, breasts, all that stuff. Really hot, ok? I mean really hot. Taxi lets us off at her place, and she invites me up, right? Score! So I'm in the apartment, beer in hand, she's acting all sexy-like. It's hot! My head's spinning, she's totally hot, everything's hot, ok? Next thing I know, it's, like, seven in the morning and there's a note pinned to my jacket asking me to lock the door when I leave. I'm still dressed and really have no idea what, if anything happened.

How cool is that!

Mr. Hot, Portland, OR