1. Communication
Talk to your spouse, don’t guess or assume about things
Make them feel a part of your life by asking, talking, discussing, and making choices that concern you both
Talk to your spouse daily
Always leave the communication door open
Discuss your life together, your happiness, your sadness, your struggles, your disappointments, etc.
When making decisions, include your spouse when making them
Email or call your spouse during the day to say “I Love You”
Don’t bring up the past a lot
Talk about everything. There shouldn’t be any secrets or anything that you and your spouse don’t discuss
Don’t shout at your spouse when discussing things, keep a normal tone
Things get confusing, ask your spouse to imagine what it is like in your shoes
2. Take the time to say, “I LOVE YOU!”
Love Letters & Happy Notes
An inexpensive way to make your spouses day is to leave Love letters and Happy Notes. Make them yourself or purchase some special paper or card.
Places to place the letters or notes:
Lunch bag
Car
Pockets
Near the toilet
On the computer
Email a note
On the answering machine
Underneath their pillow and just wait until they find it. You can date it in case it takes a while
On their work desk
In their purse or wallet
In their coat
On their favorite drink in the refrigerator
In the freezer
In their shoes
Make or purchase a Thank you card to your spouse every now and then. Thank him/her for being there for you!
Express what you really feel in a Love Poem to your spouse. It doesn’t have to rhyme or even be perfect, just getting a Love poem would be perfect enough.
Remind your spouse why you married him/her
Remind your spouse how much you love him/her
3. Never go to Bed mad at each other This is very important to never do!
Try to talk out the problem and seek an understanding or compromise
Don’t use anger as a weapon
Don’t let anger build. Anger feeds off of anger and continues to grow
Don’t use bed as a way to escape the problem. Face the problem
Find a way to calm down (both of you) and then talk things out
Don’t discuss financial matters in bed. It is depressive and can harm both of you
Anger in your body for an entire night can be unhealthy for you and your spouse
End all your fights with an “I Love YOU!”
The Last thing you should say at night to each other, should always be “I LOVE YOU!”
4. Take Time Out for your marriage
Time Out can be a slow dance for 5 minutes before your hubby leaves for work
Time out can be a hug and kiss when your hubby walks in the door from work
Time out can be listening or talking about your day.
Listen to what your spouse has to say!
Stop your day for 5 minutes every day, even if it is just to contemplate about your marriage.
Take the Time to say “I Love YOU!” every day.
Take the time to give a kiss goodbye every morning or when your spouse comes home at night.
Never say to yourself, I will say goodbye later, I will hug him later, I will kiss her later. Later often becomes NEVER!
Listen to your spouse talk about his or her day .
Celebrate even when times seem hard. You don’t necessarily need to throw a giant party, but how about a Family night or a Night out on the town. Or how about turning on some slow music and dancing for an hour.
Sit near your spouse in the living room when you can. Sitting together always brings in a bit of security and closeness together.
Try to get a sitter for at least 1 night during the year. I know this seems difficult for many a family that does all the child care themselves, but remember you and your spouse need some time alone too.
Make the most of 5 minutes of quiet time with the kids. Snuggle or hold each other close.
Wake up early or stay up late for an extra few minutes to just look at each other and/or kiss.
5. Share a Hobby together. There are several hobbies one can do together.
Photography
Camping
Hiking
Bird Watching
Writing
Walking
Running
Reading
Dreaming
Internet chat rooms together, never apart
Design a Family Web page together. Don’t know how to web design? Then learn it together! Personally I would keep the personal details like names and birthdays and such off the page.
Make Family photo albums together and talk about those happy times. Or better yet, make one online.
6. Things to never say to your spouse (even when you are angry!
Or even when it is true!) or do.
Never say I Hate you
Never say I wish I never married you
Never say your past was better than him
Never say you look heavy
Never say you were prettier when I married you
Never call each other mean names
Never run your spouse down in front of the children
Never leave nasty messages on your spouses work voicemail
Never say “Just go away!”
Never point the finger elsewhere when it was you.
7. Try to forgive but never forget. Always discuss and talk about it! The reason I say never forget, is so that both of you can learn from the actual problem here. Don’t forget the learning lessons here and if you always remember the problem, maybe it might just not happen ever again!
If your spouse says mean things, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse cheats, try to forgive once, but never forget.
If your spouse forgets to take out the garbage, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse forgets your birthday, try to forgive, but never forget.
If you spouse forgets Christmas presents, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse forgets to spend time with you, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse comes home late, try to forgive, but never forget.
If you spouse lies, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse gets drunk a lot, try to forgive, but never forget. And get outside help!
If your spouse has an addiction, try to forgive, but never forget. And get outside help here too!
If your spouse leaves you, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse spends too much money, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse is angry with you, try to forgive, but never forget.
If your spouse hurts you, try to forgive, but never forget. And get outside help if it is physical or emotional.