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Facts about Arkansas


Arkansas: An Indian word meaning trailer court

State emblem: A raccoon jimmying open an ATM machine

State Flower: The air freshener

State Bird: The used car salesman

State Tree: The stump

Nickname: The Carwash State

State Motto: Don't ask. Don't tell. Don't laugh

In 1836, a lone covered wagon heading West threw a wheel. After twenty minutes stranded in the wilderness, the family members began to look good to each other and they founded the state of Arkansas.

Arkansas has a land mass of 53,187 square miles, about half of which is abandoned trailer courts.

It was admitted to the Union on June 15 but celebrates it on the 9th. (The number 9 is significant because in Arkansas it is also the age of consent).

The capital is Little Rock, which the residents consider the most cosmopolitan city in Arkansas because it has a church, a Chinese restaurant and 450 bowling alleys. It also boasts the only McDonald's in the country that serves McSquirrel-on-a-stick.

Arkansas' most famous son was the musical genius, Wolfgang Amadeus Walmart.

English is Arkansas' second language, pointing is its first. Once considered the dumbest state in the union, Arkansas was dropped to the second dumbest state after Massachusetts renewed Teddy Kennedy's drivers license.

Civilization rooted slowly in Arkansas. Its technology peaked with the dripless candle and the doggie door. Present day inhabitants insist on watering the parking meters and dial 911 when they need help rewinding the garden hose.

At a recent International Trade Show, Arkansas introduced the designer horse blanket and the user-friendly pencil. By the turn of the century they hope to have a computer that runs on ethanol.

Arkansas is the only state in the Union in which swap meets are for arranging marriages, understandable when you consider, in the last 17 Miss Arkansas beauty contests, nobody won.

Arkansas politicians believe a good education is important as long as it doesn't get in the way of what you're trying to steal.

Universities in Arkansas have unique standards. To obtain a doctorate, a student must write his own t-shirt.

Arkansas politicians are exceptionally friendly. To shake hands with the Governor you just have to reach into your own pocket. This native Arkansan affability caused Bill Clinton to arrive late at his Presidential inauguration, when he stopped to work the crowd and reset the odometers on his motorcade. {May be a true tale, but somehow I can't imagine that 'ol Bill would be the first politician to reset an odometer!}

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