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Things Adults learn from Kids


1 There is no such thing as child-proofing your house

2 If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

3 A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant

4 If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape

5 It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room

6 Baseballs make marks on ceilings

7 You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on

8 When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit

9 A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

10 The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan

11 When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already too late

12 Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

13 A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

14 A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

15 If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes

16 A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep

17 Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old

18 Duplos will not

19 Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

20 Super glue is forever

21 McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know

22 Ditto Tarzan

23 No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water

24 Pool filters do not like Jello

25 VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

26 Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

27 Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving

28 You probably do not want to know what that odor is

29 Always look in the oven before you turn it on

30 Plastic toys do not like ovens

31 The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time

32 The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

33 It will however make cats dizzy

34 Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

35 Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry

36 A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (mostly in retrospect)

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