If Microsoft Started Building Cars


1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year, instead of before it.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die, for no apparent reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd accept this.

4. You could have only one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car95 or CarNT. But then you'd be required to purchase extra seats.

5. Apple Automotive would make a car that was powered by the sun, self-repairing, twice as reliable, and three times as fast- but it would only run on 10% of roads.

6. The oil, engine, gas, and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

7. People would get excited about "new" features in Microsoft Cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for years.

8. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.

9. The U.S. government would be getting subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.

10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

11. After you bought your flashy new Winfire 95 sports car and found you couldn't drive it out of the showroom because it had square wheels, they wouldn't tell you how to change to round ones until you had gone home to fill out your new Winfire driver registration card.

12. Having finally changed to round wheels and got on the road, one day the round wheels fell off and the Microsoft Car Co. wanted you to pay a big bag of money up front before they would take your phone call to find out if wheel-falling-off problems were covered under warranty.