You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.
You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill.
You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
The subway makes sense.
The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.
You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".
Your door has more than three locks.
You go to a hockey game for the fighting....In the stands....To participate.
Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.
The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
You complain about having to mow it.
You are a skee-ball juggernaut.
You consider Westchester "Upstate". (Because it is, DUH!)
You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Wagner.
When you say "New York" you mean New York City. The rest of the state not worth mentioning.
The purpose of the Governor is to give our hard-earned tax dollars to the undeserving people upstate.
You know that nobody actually pronounces "33rd and 3rd" as "turdy-turd an' turd"
As a child, your parents taught you to recite the following with an overblown Brooklyn accent for the entertainment of their friends: (pronunciations on this side) It's spring, the bird is on the wing (da boid is on da wing) but that's absurd (but dat's absoid) for I have heard (for I have hoid) the wing is on the bird! (da wing is on da boid!)
Jaywalking is an important skill you were taught when learning how to cross the street.
Pedestrians have the right of way at all times, unless you are driving a car, in which case they are a nuisance and all deserve to be shot.
People from Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, the Bronx and New Jersey are referred to as "Bridge and Tunnel People."
You know that all people from places outside of New York/Tri State Area are inbred hillbillies and often have six fingers.
You know NJ sucks.