True Ghost Tales

Sad Partings

On June 5th 1997 Ihad to put to sleep my much loved, 14 year old cat, Ya'el. Shehad been diagnosed with cancer a few months earlier, but herhealth deteriorated rapidly, until I was forced to face realityand let her go.

I had found Ya'el abandoned by her mother on a sidewalk in Israelat just 4-5 weeks old. One of her favorite things to do was hangoff of the door handle whenever she wanted either in or out ofthe house - until she got too heavy. She was a beautiful cat,looking a little tabby-like, but also a little Abasynian (sp?),with rich, dark cocoa-brown markings and a white area around hermouth and a beautiful rust colored nose. She was a very verbalcat. All I had to do was look at her and she'd meow at me. Or I'dcall her name and she'd meow and come running from wherever shewas in the house. She would never let you hold her however - atleast not unless she wanted you to. And she was always tense, asif she had to constantly be on the alert at all times. While youheld her, she never rolled onto her side, but stayed erect, readyto dart for cover at the slightest noise that might mean "danger"- whatever that might mean in her tiny brain. I think much of herhyper-vigilant nature was due to her being half wild as are mostcats in Israel. She wanted love, but I don't think she knew howto recieve it - at least not in the way I thought she'd enjoy itmore, but I respected her and gave her attention when she neededand wanted it. She also couldn't hold still to be petted. She wastwisting, walking, turning and rubbing her head on your hand,legs or arm, or banging it on any available furniture, while youtried to give her some semblance of a pet or cuddle. She had ahabit of banging her head on the under-side of the coffee tableuntil you thought she was going to knock herself out or at leastdo some brain damage, but it was always pretty humorous to listento her banging away in her happy mood - sometimes, literally, for1-2 minutes at a time! And that's a long time to bang your headon a hard piece of wood. I have no idea what she was thinking orwhy she did it, but it made her unique!

But her "all-time" favorite thing to do was to walkback and forth in front of me whenever I walked, which often ledme to stumble and falter all over the place while I tried toavoid killing us both.

To say the least, she was dearly loved and will be dearly missed.On that awful June 5th morning I opened my bedroom door to bloodall over the house and a little pool of blood at her feet. Shelooked totally happy, but I was freaking out as I walked aroundthe house looking at the blood on the walls, floor, in the food-dish,etc. It looked like she'd been slaughtered instead of the tumoron her ear rupturing. I just had to quit being selfish and lether go. This just wasn't any type of meaningful "quality oflife" for her.

Needless to say, I cried all the way to the vets office when Iput her to sleep and all the way home, and for days afterwards.This was my first experience with the loss of a pet.

A couple of days later, as therapy, I was cleaning the house anddoing laundry. I was walking from my livingroom to the kitchenwhen I stumbled over what I thought was one of my other two cats.I always feel awful, because I have no desire to hurt them, so Iquickly turned to apologize and go give attention to whomever hadbeen injured, but Isaac was asleep in my grandfather's rockingchair and my other cat, Ashawn, was in the dog's bed fast asleepas well - and the dog was outside! I have hardwood floors, sothere was nothing to trip on. This was definitely a trip "over"something. I felt the impact on the top of my foot. Immediately,I had the impression that Ya'eli was in the room and that she'dcome to let me know she was alright. As if to say, ha, ha, thisis what you get for putting me to sleep! It was an eerie feeling,but a joyful one for me as well.

Then this last Sunday night, September 21st, I felt like I was ina half-awake, half-dream state right before dawn. I looked overat my bedroom door, which is locked at night and I thought howodd it was that it appeared to be open. It was still quite darkand I was thinking how I didn't really want to be awake yet,since it obviously wasn't time to get up for work. A few secondslater I felt something jump up onto my bed and when I looked downtowards the foot of the bed, there was my beloved Ya'eli comingtowards me. And just like she'd always been, she couldn't holdstill while I cuddled, or at least attempted to cuddle, and pether. I was so elated to see her and touch her. It was incrediblyreal. I could even bury my nose in her fur. "She" wasin color, very soft and very warm. I can't express the real joythat I had from being able to see her and touch her.

But the oddest thoughts went through my mind. I was thinking..."sameold Ya'eli....same old expression on her face". Just as if Iexpected her to smile at me or talk to me. I actually felt thatshe could talk, but for some reason, either my being human orstill of this earth, prevented that kind of communication withher.

I can only say, that as my older cat nears his time to be put tosleep, I hope that he comes to visit me often, along with Ya'el.As far as I'm concerned, they're my kids and I do and will missthem more than anyone could possible know.