Muppet Dream
I've only told thisstory once or twice, and although it was believed (as least,that's what THEY told me ;>) by the listeners, it's notsomething yo u'd usually post to a site read by a bajillionpeople world-wide. But here it is, so deal with it. :)
I will warn you now that this kind of sounds goofy. I honestlydon't know if this was the waking dream of a child, somethingsupernatural, or just something I ate. I leave it to you, gentlereader, to decide.
But when I think about it, even all these years later, for somereason it just rings true. I don't know why. Maybe with luck,I'll never find out.
Okay. Here's the scoop. (Yes, we newspaper types really do saythat!)
Long ago when I was about four or five, I stayed over at mygrandparents' house for the night. My Mom stayed over with me,because Dad was out of town on business.
Granny and Granddad quite enjoyed their television programs, andhad a set in each of the two bedrooms in the house, as well as inthe living room. I was still stupid enough to believe TV'sflickering, mind-sucking images were pretty neat, so I was in heaven.
Night came on softly, as it only can when you feel safety andwarmth around you. With one of Granny's home-cooked meals in mystomach, I had begun to feel the need for slumber. So, we allpiled in the monstrous king-sized bed in Granny and Granddad'smas ter bedroom, and soon we were all snoring blissfully.
I woke up in the night and sat upright, looking around. Somethinghad disturbed my slumber. Granddad was still snoringrhythmically, and Granny looked like she hadn't budged an inch,so I sat back and prepared to visit the realm of dream once more.
Then the television turned itself on.
Now, I'm only 22 years old, but this was in the days when remotecontrols were the providence of the wealthy and debased. Grannyand Grandad did not fit into any of those two categories.
To see a television turn itself on was an interesting thing. Isat up again to see what would come on.
At that time, the TV in my grandparents' bedroom was a black andwhite. I watched the white dot that had formed in the middleexpand to full screen, but only the static of a dead channelappeared.
Then, images began to appear.
I couldn't really describe them. They were sort of shadowy thingsat first, but they seemed to be -- for lack of a better term --"scoping me out." Slowly, an actual image began toappear.
Muppets! The Muppets were on! I was exalted, elated. I wanted towake my grandparents up, but I then started to feel a bituncomfortable about what was happening on the television.
Muppets did not usually have fangs as I recall. At least, notones that looked so ... real and out of place in an otherwisestandard Muppet-style mouth.
I realize this is sounding goofy. You were warned. :)
Well, uncertain about what to do, I decided to keep a close watchon the television.
The "Muppets" looked at me. It was common of course onSesame Street and the Muppet Show for them to acknowledge theaudience, so I wasn't alarmed so much by that.
I describe these things as Muppets because that's primarily whatthey looked like. Other than the rows and rows of unusual teeth,one looked vaguely Groveresque and the other sort of reminded meof Harry the Monster (don't know if he's even ON Sesame Str eetanymore).
The Groveresque Muppet leaned over and pointed at me, whilewhispering something to his companion. They looked at me inunison, whispering all the while in a strange, unusually gutturaltongue. It sounded completely random, although it did somehowseem t o follow the meter and pattern of a language.
I noticed when the Groveresque Muppet pointed, he had very long,distinct talons on his furry hands. This, too, was quitedisturbing.
The Muppets began to dance, sing and cavort about in that strangelanguage of theirs. It was sort of amusing, I recall. I began tofeel a bit more at ease.
The Muppets motioned for me to come forward.
I shook my head.
The Muppets tried again.
I shook my head. I was beginning to feel frightened. If thereever was a way Muppets could look pissed, these guys were doingit. With all those rows of fangs, it wasn't pretty.
I should mention that all of this singing, dancing, cavortinghorror that was going on seemed to in no way disturb mygrandparents. This disturbed me as well, because these guys wereLOUD.
I got out of bed and crept into the living room, being careful toavoid approaching the screen. The Muppet-things wore visages ofabsolute anger now, motioning violently for me to approach thescreen. My attempts rouse my grandmother and grandfather were invain; they would not stir.
I ran into the living room, crying. I collapsed in my Granddad'schair, buried my face into the fabric, and began to weep, certaindoom had come for me.
I looked over at the television in the corner of the living room.It had already begun to turn itself on, the shadow-forms that haddissolved into the Henson-styled horrors already beginning toflicker across its surface.
I screamed, rooted to the spot. But as the scream left my lungsand two grinning, fanged faces burst into being on the televisionscreen, faintly and then with increasing tempo I heard footsteps.
The things in the television looked worried, swirled into theirshadow-forms and were gone.
The television winked out just as my Mother ran into the room.
After consoling me, we went to check on Granny and Granddad. Theywere both awake, and had heard me scream.
We all sat up for a while talking, and eventually the warmth andlove returned to fill the chill in my soul.
I went to bed and nothing more happened that night. Or any othernight I stayed with my grandparents.
A waking dream? Probably so. But one that still fills me withterror.
I was awake of course, Mom will still assert, when I was in thechair. So, I did move somehow from the bed to the chair.
Still, it gives one pause. What better way to snare a young boythan to show him something he loves, then pull him in unawares?
Whatever those two things were, I'm sure the Muppet-forms werenot their natural shape. I'm sure the fangs and talons were partof it, though.
If they're still out there, I hope they haven't had much time topractice those forms. If they could get them just right ...
I still wonder what would have happened -- dream or not -- if Ihad put my then-small hands up to the screen there in mygrandparents' bedroom.
Perhaps nothing.
And then again, perhaps it's better not to know.
Next time, I'll post some real ghost stories. But the TV threadmade remember this.
In case you're wondering, I don't watch much television anymore.It all seems so ... diabolical. ;)
Until next time,
Brian