Break out of Your Shell

There are millions of people out there who are shy. But there is nothing wrong with being shy. What is behind being shy?

Shyness is based on learned behaviours. Children learn shy tendencies when they see other shy people. Parents who discourage they children from speaking up can contribute to their shyness.

Being shy can adversely affect your life. It prevents you from landing the job you want because of your inability to speak up about yourself or your unwillingness to contact new people about jobs. Shy people also find it difficult to find dates or make new friends because they fear rejection. Also, others often perceive shy people to be unfriendly, humourless, and unapproachable. This often leads to the shy person being alone when they don’t want to be.

Psychologists recommend using the following exercises to help combat your shyness:
A problem with shyness is the negative thinking associated with it. Shy people fear to enter a situation because they are afraid to say the wrong things, or that no one is interested in them. The first step in overcoming shyness is to counteract negative thinking. To combat negative thinking by check out the article in:
http://www.mysask.com/community/regina/lifestyle/selfimprovement/worry.shtml

Learn to relax when you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Try taking deep breaths to calm you down.

Shyness is often related to passiveness. Learning to become more assertive is a step that will allow you to speak up. One tip to assertiveness is to try it out on the least threatening person you want to be assertive with and gradually work up to the hardest person.

Learn to handle rejection. You are not the first and only person to have ever been rejected. Try and remember that everyone in this world has been rejected in some way or another.

Set realistic goals for yourself that will let you slowly emerge from your shell. For example, a goal could be to attend more social situations. You may feel that you failed if you don’t talk to anyone at them but in reality you met your goal. The goal wasn’t to speak to people at these social functions but to attend more of them. Your next goal could be speak to at least one person at a party.

Reward yourself anyway you want when you achieve your goals. This can help build your self-esteem.

The cure from shyness can come from tapes, books or exercises. It won’t come from a bottle, pills or through hypnosis. But the ultimate cure to shyness is the confidence you have built in yourself that you can do it.